considering the possibility

I don't know what's gotten into me lately, but everywhere I go I see adorable little babies or beautifully plump pregnant women. And it's like they're trying to say to me, "Look at us? Aren't we just the bestest things you've ever seen?"

I've always said that I never want to have kids. If an oopsie baby happens, I'll keep it and love it, but I have never thought I'd ever plan to make a family. I could name a zillion reasons why I've strongly held this opinion: what if the baby wasn't born healthy? kids cost a ton and what if I'm too selfish for that? what if they died before me? kids misbehave a ton and what if I don't have the patience for that? what if they grow up and become terrible rebelious teens and die of a drug overdose? I could go on and on for days.

And maybe I need to be more specific. I've never wanted to raise a child, but I've always been extremely interested in being a surrogate. I think it would be a wonderful experience to be pregnant and then give someone the gift of a child. But it isn't something I've ever wanted for myself.

But something is different now. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and maturing, but I'm starting to wonder, "Would be it so bad to have a family?" Like I said before, I'm noticing adorable little children and their happy parents and glowing pregnant mommies-to-be. What if someday when I've got a house and a stable career and I've had my fun... what if I decide to become a mom?

Thank goodness for me, the Boyfriend could go wither way, although right now I think we're both leaning towards just spending our lives as just the two of us. Anyway, I thought that it was weird how I, someone so insistant that she'd never had kids, is now considering it as a possibility later in life. Hmm.

Have you ever felt this way, either about children or something else?

(picture from here)