rashes and BIG presentation

Hey everyone,

Sorry that I've been terribly absent from my blog, but I've been having quite the month! With all of my classes coming to a close, I've had to wrap up assignments and work on lots of projects - I'm a busy bee! Aside from that, the Boyfriend and I are attempting to move, but it's been going quite slowly. Our schedules are hectic at the very least, so we've only had time to do a little here and there. We're attempting to be totally moved by the end of the week, but we'll have to see about that.

In other news, I'm currently FREAKING OUT. Today is a crazy, crazy day for me and I'm already hyped up on coffee. Volunteering, handing in paperwork (last minute, of course), working on another huge project, and the biggest presentation of my college career thus far. No pressure, right? Freaking out. I don't have my part nearly as memorized as I had hoped, but I have a decent amount of practice time today.

Remember that huge campaigns project I've been bitching about? Well, we're presenting it to a whole bunch of advertising/PR professionals today. Super scary! Although, this is going to be an awesome networking opportunity, but I'm so scared that I'm going to screw up and be the laughingstock of the entire Milwaukee Ad community. That would be terrible.

I tried on practically every nice outfit I had last night and had the Boyfriend narrow them down with me. I think I look pretty good. Well, except for the huge rash on my face! Yeah, what a day to wake up with a huge red blotch on the side of your face. Come ON! Anyway, it's off to my volunteer place now. I'll have to catch you all up later on whether I made a fool of myself or not.

Send happy, loving thoughts my way, please!

XOXO,

Olivia

shooting for the moon

I want to write a book...

Ambition has never been an issue for me. I possess the mentality that if you don't dream big, you're selling yourself short. "Shoot for the moon; If you miss, you'll land among stars." I'm an ambitious girl, through and through.

The part I have a problem with is the follow-through. I have these big dreams about what I could be when I grow up, or about writing a book, or about sewing tons of stuff, or about moving somewhere adventurous, but I'm not so good at always making these kinds of things happen.

I'm going to try harder this time, at least when it comes to the book. I have some ideas, so now I just need to sit down and stay focused. Sounds simple, but it's not. Maybe I'll search out some motivational quotes to stick around my desk area to help me actually complete my task.

Do you have a particular motivational quote that gets you going?

An update about my quest of finding the right career for me: I'm also considering being an editor. I think it would be really exciting to work at a publishing company and search out new talent. I love to read, I love to write, and I'm a pretty good editor in my opinion. So why not give being an editor some thought, right? And a good thing about that is I'm already majoring in Journalism and Mass Communication, so with a few extra classes, I could be confident about this as a possible career choice.

I think I should start making a list of all the occupations I've considered having. I think it'd be pretty amusing. Anyway, time to take the kitty to the vet. I wish you all a very delightful day, and hopefully the weather is less gloomy wherever you are!

(picture from here)

quickly catching up: jail and a million bucks

1. I learned from Glamour magazine today that if a woman earns $50,000 and wants to continue living the kind of life she leads after she retires, she would have to have ONE MILLION DOLLARS saved up to do that. Holy crap.

2. I did indeed sew. I almost smashed the stupid little purple sewing machine, but I did sew. It's a skirt, and it isn't terrible. Not good, but I think I did well considering I've never sewed before. And it has a zipper and pockets and everything (pockets, well, because I love, love, love skirts that are fully equipt with pockets). Next project: a tote bag.

3. Last night I had a dream that I had to go to jail, and so I slapped an ex boyfriend and was worried about being bored while doing my time. I looked up "jail" in my dream dictionary and it said loads of bad luck was ahead... are we freaking kidding me?!

4. Today, whilst reading my magazine and pondering the vast amount of junk food I've been consuming lately, I thought about how I once dreamed of being a nutritionist. And I thought, hey, maybe I should do that for a living! My logical side did kick in and said they don't make much money and it would probably be hard for me to find a job, especially not in a big city... but I still kinda like the idea. I even printed off the certificate requirements for the school I'm currently attending. Maybe this is a fleeting interest, maybe not. We'll just have to wait and see...

5. Tomorrow I have a Second interview with a local electronics retailer (that I hear pays pretty well!). So wish me luck. I really am praying that I get a job here pretty soon because being broke is just not a good look on me. I tend to cry a lot and the Boyfriend doesn't like that so much. So yeah. Wish me luck, dudes and dudettes!

time to let it all out...

I need to get things off my chest. I want to talk about all this, but it's like my lips are sewn shut and if I don't say anything at all, I will never have to make any decisions.

I'm not good at making decisions. Not at all. But time keeps going on and I need to figure things out. I need to figure out what I want to do about my schooling. Yesterday I went over to my parent's house to do laundry and we talked about my education and what I want. School is so frustrating. Like, when I tell people that I'm majoring in advertising, they think I know something about marketing or business or graphic design. But I know none of that.

I'm majoring in Journalism & Mass Communication with an emphasis in Strategic Communication. What the hell does that even mean?!

I feel like this crap-education is going to lead me straight into grad school and that ain't happening. Maybe it's just because I'm tired of school, maybe not, but I think I'm losing interest in advertising. My heart is just not in it anymore.

So now what? Do I keep going so I have a bachelor's degree? My dad and the Boyfriend seem to think this is the answer. Although, the Boyfriend and I have yet to really talk about this. And my dad's philosophy seems to follow the lines of: "You may not love your job, you may just be able to tolerate it, but you make good money and use that to have fun with your life. Your job isn't about having fun."

Really? Do I have to live the kind of life where having a job can't be fun? Or am I still in a little kid mindset, thinking that I can be whatever I want and be happy forever? When you're a kid, your teachers get you to believe that when you grow up, its going to be this amazing adventure, like a fairy tale. But this isn't a fairy tale.

My mom surprised me by being very open minded. She asked me what the Boyfriend has to say about my confusion, and I told her that he said, "Well we both know its not my approval you're looking for." When my mom finally realized he meant her, she assured me in a surprisingly sweet way that it didn't matter what I chose to do.

We briefly discussed cosmetology school or an associates or certificate in fashion and retail from a tech school, but I can honestly tell you that I still have no idea what I want to do. I have no idea what is going to make me happy. I have no idea what is going to make all of this time and money I've spent on school worthwhile. What's the right answer? Can someone please just decide this for me?

(image from here)

new adventures

I've been on the computer for hours and hours the last few days, looking for jobs and applying for the few that seem like they could be decent options for me. The outlook, however, isn't looking so good. Oh well, I suppose. My boyfriend told me to stop stressing about it and take the day off from my job hunt and just enjoy my free time. I agreed, but I can't stop worrying about my finances.

Anyway, I started to think that maybe this bad luck I've been having with jobs is a sign that I need to sit down and think about what I really want from my life. What am I passionate about? I came to the conclusion that I would absolutely love to get involved with fashion photography. Wardrobe styling, assisting the photographer, whatever. I think I'd love working in that environment, regardless of what I'd be doing.

Have I been watching too much of "The Hills" recently? Maybe. I would be lying if I didn't say I spent a good portion of an afternoon watching the first season all over again. But seriously. I would kill to be Lauren or Whitney, helping with model castings and assisting on photo shoots. I wanna be doing that.

Oh, and please don't tell me mother. She'd kill me if she knew I wanted to pursue such a, uh, how should I say this, unrealistic career path. Don't get me wrong; I understand that starting off in this industry means getting paid a whole lotta nothing, so I plan to have another job to pay the bills. I haven't totally lost my mind. And who knows, maybe finding opportunities to get into this career are few and far between; maybe I won't be able to get my foot in the door at all. Oh well, I guess I'll at least be able to say I tried.

This weekend I plan to go over to my parent's house and use my little sister as a model. She's tall, skinny, and has really great hair so I think she'll make a good model. Then I will pick out her clothes, do her makeup, style her hair, and take some pictures of her. I think it will be a fun experience for the both of us, and then I will have something of a small portfolio to get me started.

So I guess we'll just have to wait and see if this dreamer's dreams come true...

(photo from here)

pass the crayons please

As I somewhat described in my previous blog, I'm having thoughts about my future. It's like I'm back in kindergarden and my teacher is asking me, "Olivia, what do you want to be when you grow up?" I don't know what to say. (It may be interesting to note that I'm currently eating animal-shapes Easy Mac... maybe I belong back in kindergarden...)

When you're a kid, it's exciting to have infinite possibilities ahead of you. But now I'm 21 years old and feeling the crushing pressure to know right now what I'm going to want to do for the rest of my life. And when it comes to the question of what I want to do when I grow up, I'm not much wiser now than I was during the age of nap times and coloring books. Pass the crayons?

I've considered tons of professions: advertising, teaching, business, graphic design, nursing, fashion design, art, creative writing, journalism, nutrition, clinical laboratory science, cosmetology... but how can I be so sure that what I like now, I'm still going to like when I'm 45?

Heck, am I even going to like it by the time I get out of school? That's another fear I have: that I'm going to decide on something (as I've done with advertising), but then I'll hate it once I get out into the real world and actually do it. That's the crappy thing about school; you learn about something, but you don't actually learn what it's really like, day to day. What if I get stuck in a cubicle and want to rip my hair out because I can't think of a good slogan for tampons?

I'll never know if I don't try, that's for certain. So let's imagine I graduate with my advertising degree and work at an agency somewhere for a year or two and can't stand it? Do I spend more money going back to school for another degree? My student loans are already going to be terrible; could I even handle more debt? Probably not.

See? This is when the days of nap time and color pages sound sooo entirely awesome. Because everything was simple then. Dreaming of what you wanted to be when you grew up was an adventure, not a jail sentence.

(picture from here)