planting seeds for my money tree

I woke up this morning already having a case of the "blahs"... and then I check my bank account. FML. Where's my money tree?

Let me explain how I got to this sad, sad point. I've never been much of a saver. I suck at budgeting myself and I "nickel and dime myslef to death", as my mother says. I'm a sucker for a bargain. However, after the credit card bills got bigger, I realized that my poor habits needed to stop. And I got better at managing my money. Well, a bit better.

Do you all remember my food court job at the wholesale store? I quit because I was being completely unappreciated and was diminished to tears by an evil manager. I quit without much in savings and without another job to go to. Not smart, I know that, but it needed to be done. So that's when I started pinching pennies. This happened in the beginning of June.

After a few weeks of searching, I found a job at a boutique and was all excited about finally working in fashion. Less than two weeks later, I got a phone call saying I was fired. I had never been fired before, so I took this pretty hard. My boss was nuts, to say the least, but regardless of her irrational behavior, I was without a job. Again. I started searching for change in the couch cushions.

I was luckily able to pick up a few hours at the salon I had previously worked at, but that wasn't without its own drama. The small checks I got from working a few hours here and there were barely enough to keep me going, and I thank God for my wonderful Boyfriend who has paid for practically everything since this chaos started.

Finally, I have found a job as an employee at an electronics retail store, and it is going well. The first check I got was small, as was to be expected. But I'm hoping my check on Friday blesses me with some dough to get me by. Also, I'm dying to hear back from two paid internships that I applied for. Cross your fingers for me!

Moral of my Story...

1. Have enough in savings to get you by when times get rough.

2. Learn how to budget yourself and kick those bad habits.

I'm definitely working on #2 right now, and I'd love your advice.

What do you do to save money?

(money tree found here)

thinking thoughtful thoughts

So I've had an interesting day full of thoughtful thoughts:

1. Sometimes I feel like I'm over here and everyone else is over there, living their lives, while I sit alone and contemplate what on earth I want to do with my life. One of my friends went to New York and did paparazzi stuff and really lived it up for awhile. Now she's back to a small town life, but she's doing it the way she wants; she goes to rummage sales and thrift stores, has an etsy shop, and is just living a nice, calm life. Another friend of mine went to school for two years, became a respiratory therapist, works hard, owns her own Ford Escape and just bought a crotch rocket yesterday. She's making something of her life and has the goodies to show for it. I'm jealous of both those ladies.

2. I've mentioned before how inconsistent I feel about what I wanna be when I grow up, and it doesn't help that I recently learned that for an Advertising (or Journalism and Mass Communication) degree, getting a job is soon going to require a Masters. Sorry dudes, but let me make something perfectly clear: I will not go to grad school. So what does this mean for my life? Well, I sure as heck don't know. Part of me has been dissatisfied with my advertising career choice, but I've told myself to just stick with it since switching majors would just keep me in school longer. I should just get out with this degree and see how it goes. Well, apparently the place it'll probably go is back to school anyway. So why finish my undergrad if I refuse to get my Masters? Hmmm... that is exactly the question that's been plaguing me all day.

So I decided, just for the heck of it, to investigate some other options. At a nearby tech school, I could get an associates or a certificate of some kind in something cool like fashion marketing so that I could be a buyer when I grow up. That sounds like fun. Or I could go the medical route and get a degree in cardiovascular technology or anesthesia technology. Or I could learn about graphic design. Or even interior design. I could even get an Advanced Pastry Certificate... okay, that last one was a joke. But do you see what I mean? These things sound appealing and a lot less complicated than this advertising thing I've got going on.

Why don't I do it? Do you realize how long I've been in school and how much debt I've built up? I certainly can't waste all of that for just an Associates or a Certificate. And I can only imagine what my mother would have to say! It's all so frustrating. I hate having to try and figure these things out. These are really big decisions, and the more I change my mind, the more time and money I feel like I'm wasting. Ugh.

3. I really, really, really want a scooter. I think I would look totally awesome cruisin' around town on a little purple scooter. Don't you think I'd just have the greatest time? I do. Although the lack of a job and therefore lack of funds may prevent me from making such a purchase. Stupid jobless-ness is ruining my life. *Sigh*

4. I have two job interviews - one this week and one next week. One is for a cashier at a grocery store and the other is for a cashier at an electronics type store. So yeah, wish me luck, even though I know both of these jobs are going to pay less than I'd like. Oh well, I suppose. That's what happens when you're a poor college student... especially one who is pursuing a degree that doesn't offer paid internships.

(cartoon by natalie dee; very addicting comics.)

let's drink to my crappy life

First of all, I want to apologize for my blog

consisting of me bitching continuously.

But seriously, I feel like the world is crapping on me.

More about that below...

I'm definitely going to be drinking tonight! Sure, I have only two very important placement tests tomorrow, but I need to drink tonight. I'll do my best to not get wasted, but I won't make any promises.

I've been working very part-time at a nice little salon. When I got my retail job, I kept one day at the salon to give my manager a day off each week. Then when I lost that job, they were kind enough to give me some extra hours that probably should have been covered anyway. Wasn't that nice? Yes it was. Then I got my new job at the boutique and thanks to some miscommunication my hours for the rest of the month were given to someone else. No biggie.

On Sunday I ran into one of the nail technicians/receptionists at the Farmer's Market (which was awesome, by the way. I plan on going next week for some fresh veggies and flowers!). Anyway, we got to talking and after I told her about my more recent job loss, she informed me that her and another receptionist were taking some vacation time in August, and so I might be able to pick up some hours and help out - the manager was going to be working some pretty long shifts to cover everything, it sounded like. So I sent her an email asking if she wanted any help.

Now, imagine my surprise when the reply was less than grateful for my offer. In fact, she went as far as to say that I was disrespecting the salon by keeping inconsistent hours since I first left in winter. Wait a second, when I first left, I kept my one day a week at the salon to give her a day off! And whoa, whoa, whoa... did I just get fired again?!

Honestly, I have no idea. She was very unclear about that, so I guess now I just have to wait and see what she says. Is this really happening?

I won't lie to you; I cried. I am so tired of things going wrong for me. I just got a letter in the mail from the business that I gave the terrible first impression to. Needless to say, I didn't get a call back for another interview, but instead received a letter saying they were "pursuing another candidate." I threw it out without having the heart to tell the Boyfriend about it. I'm so tired of feeling like a worthless failure.

Anyway, here are some other less depressing updates:

1. My mother's birthday is today so the whole family is going out to dinner. Yum!

2. I've been studying really hard the last few days for my math placement test so hopefully I don't bomb it! :)

(picture from here)

no good, no good

I've had some pretty ridiculous luck these days. Particularly with jobs. We all know how my last job ended: me getting yelled at irrationally and then doing a whole lot of crying and writing some very honest letters to people with power. No good, no good. Then I had the interview from hell where hardly anyone was wearing shoes. And someone was wearing sweatpants. That was also no good. Then the internship that I was pining over finally, after dragging me along for well over a month, finally decided to tell me that couldn't pay me, but could consider it in the fal. No good, either.

So now I have accepted a job at a boutique as a salesperson and marketer (as was mentioned in the interview). Cool, huh? Granted, its not agency experience, but I love clothes so it seemed like a decent fit. Today was my first day and the day went okay, but I came home feeling like a dark cloud was looming over me. Then I read an email my boss sent everyone, with a July schedule attached: Please welcome Olivia as a full time employee at the mall location and (insert name here) who will be part time and help with marketing and public relations. If you read that like I did, you see that she didn't associate my name with the whole marketing thing.

What is going on here? Seriously, this is insane. So now a job that I thought would maybe give me a small amount of experience is looking like any other job. Ugh. I am so exhausted by all of this run-around. I just want a nice job at a nice agency where I can work hard and learn a lot... I didn't know that would be too much to ask for.

(cute pic from here)