crackberries and stupid sisters

So much to catch up on!

1. I have a Blackberry now! Although I probably should call it my Crackberry. Seriously. After much drama and arguing with my family as to whether we wanted to renew our contract, we did and I ended up with a fancy new phone. I am so addicted. I swear, I'm checking it every five seconds. It's totally my new thing, and I'm very proud to be a part of the Blackberry club.

2. My 17-year-old sister is driving me insane. I remember what it was like to be 17. I wasn't very well behaved. Ask The Boyfriend - he was even worse than I was! But it kills me to hear her tell stories about being drunk or to tell me what she's done with her little boyfriend lately. Seriously, I don't want to know. I don't want to know not only because it bug me, but I also don't want to be responsible when she does something really stupid like drives drunk.

I thought things were finally out of my hands when she came home the other night with beer on her breath. We always have to say goodnight to mom when we come home late for this exact purpose. She tried to cover for herself though, and said it was just the smell of it - she wasn't drinking, it was other people. This didn't fly for long, however, as she got in an argument with my mom about it the very next night. She refused to talk to my mom and demanded to talk with my father.

My father is an understanding man. He doesn't tend to overreact and he remembers what it was like to be young and dumb. However, I don't think he realized that what he told her wasn't interpreted quite the right way. See, he told her he knew there wasn't much he could do to stop her. She should be safe, however, and let him know where she's staying.

That'd be fine if he was telling a 20 year old that. Someone in college, more mature, responsible. But we're talking about my stupid, stuck up, immature 17-year-old sister. She interprets this as, "My dad says I can drink." No good, Dad. Know your audience! I haven't found the right moment to tell him this, but I plan to call him out on it. Sure, he's right to say she shouldn't drink and drive, but this wasn't his best parenting moment in my opinion.

3. Remember that big Campaigns project I was telling you all about? We got the books printed! They look like fancy magazines, filled with work produced with my blood, sweat and tears - and damn, it feels good! We didn't win the competition, but that doesn't really matter to me. I'm happy that now I have something awesome and tangible to show potential employers.

Speaking of potential employers, the internship hunt isn't going so well. Please cross your fingers that I can find something for the spring or I am kinda screwed. So yeah. Cross them fingers, people!

(crackberry found here)

considering the possibility

I don't know what's gotten into me lately, but everywhere I go I see adorable little babies or beautifully plump pregnant women. And it's like they're trying to say to me, "Look at us? Aren't we just the bestest things you've ever seen?"

I've always said that I never want to have kids. If an oopsie baby happens, I'll keep it and love it, but I have never thought I'd ever plan to make a family. I could name a zillion reasons why I've strongly held this opinion: what if the baby wasn't born healthy? kids cost a ton and what if I'm too selfish for that? what if they died before me? kids misbehave a ton and what if I don't have the patience for that? what if they grow up and become terrible rebelious teens and die of a drug overdose? I could go on and on for days.

And maybe I need to be more specific. I've never wanted to raise a child, but I've always been extremely interested in being a surrogate. I think it would be a wonderful experience to be pregnant and then give someone the gift of a child. But it isn't something I've ever wanted for myself.

But something is different now. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and maturing, but I'm starting to wonder, "Would be it so bad to have a family?" Like I said before, I'm noticing adorable little children and their happy parents and glowing pregnant mommies-to-be. What if someday when I've got a house and a stable career and I've had my fun... what if I decide to become a mom?

Thank goodness for me, the Boyfriend could go wither way, although right now I think we're both leaning towards just spending our lives as just the two of us. Anyway, I thought that it was weird how I, someone so insistant that she'd never had kids, is now considering it as a possibility later in life. Hmm.

Have you ever felt this way, either about children or something else?

(picture from here)