things between us are simple

A friend of mine just got back from college and was looking forward to a fun summer with old friends and the exciting possibility of an internship just over the horizon. It's stressful waiting to hear about a job, I know that, but now compound this stress with that of a high maintenance relationship that is going nowhere. She's slowly sucking the life out of him as she does crazy things to attract his attention and that of others. It's terribly sad, watching him waste away before our eyes as this awful relationship drains him. He cares for her, regardless, and wants to be sure that she's okay and that's what keeps him from ending it. That's sweet, I think, because he has the courtesy to ensure she will be fine. The problem is, she doesn't want to be fine.

Watching him struggle with his relationship, however, makes me more aware of how awesome mine really is. I'm not trying to gloat and I'm not saying we don't have our problems - because we do - but we love each other deeply in a way I can't describe. And so I'm thanksful for what I have. Things in my life might not be going quite as I expected, but I can always count on having a great guy to come home to. One who will make me tea and rub my head when I have a headache. One who is willing to move into my parents basement to save money for a house. One who lets me try out ten different colors of nail polish on his toes until I find just the right one. I love him, and I shouldn't take it for granted. There's hardly any bickering, no whining that he's hanging out with his friends instead of me, and no breakup threats. Things between us are simple; we love each other. 

(picture from here...)

Go Veggie!

So recently I decided to try being a vegetarian, and I'm pretty sure I've been successful for 2 1/2 weeks. Go me! Anyway, I read about a town in Belgium that has decided to have a "Veggie Day" once a week... people are urged not to eat meat, restaurants won't serve it, and even schools are being urged to get involved. Why are they doing this? To reduce their carbon footprint. As it turns out, the meat industry contributes a lot to greenhouse gas emissions, especially beef. According to the UN, meat production and consumption cause 18% of greenhouse gases... that's worse than cars! Maybe going veggie isn't for you, but it makes sense to try and limit your meat consumption, if not for the environment, for your health. I became vegetarian for a cocktail of reasons, but one of them was to pay more attention to what I'm eating. Sure, I'm a skinny girl, but I can't honestly think that eating fast food five days a week is good for me.

Want more about the Veggie Day in Belgium? Read these:

Day of the lentil burghers

Belgian city goes vegetarian

I dream of the day when...

... I push open the door to my exciting and fast-paced job at some advertising agency in California or New York or Chicago. I of course look as confident as I feel in my stylish outfit and Christian Louboutin heels. After a hard days work and much success, I will go home to my wonderful husband to enjoy a nice home-cooked meal before we snuggle up on the couch. 

I want that, badly. It's just so hard to hold on to that goal when I'm fighting this day to day battle and dealing with unfair and crappy things. I won't say any more.

slapped and numb

I've hit that point today where I'm saying, "Enough is enough." I have too much passion to be stuck like this. Figuratively speaking, I was slapped in the face at work today. Slapped, and I wasn't sure whether to be mad or upset or pissed off or sad or all of the above and more. And now after I've ventured through more emotions than I can count, I'm numb. Where do I go from here? I was finally at the point where I didn't despise going to work every day, but I'm back at square one again and hating every moment of it. I need a good internship. I need my passion to show through and my luck to turn around because this just isn't fair for someone like me. Someone who is trying to do what's best for herself and her future. I know life is a struggle and it's not all going to come easily, but let's get real here; I am so much more than a hot dog server. Don't get me wrong because I respect every person who has the strength to work a job like that day in and day out because people who work jobs like that don't get the respect they deserve. But that's not for me. I want a chance to learn, I want the chance to show my talent. And for goodness sake here people, I want the chance to put this education I'm paying for to good use. Is that too much to ask? I have two goals to accomplish tomorrow: 1) go to work for 8 1/2 hours without snapping, and 2) find as many internship opportunities as I can and apply, apply, apply. Wish me luck, because I don't think either task is going to be easy.

(picture from here)

addicted to green

I just want everyone to know that my newest (and slightly over-the-top) addiction is reusable bags. Check out this adorable bag from Forever21... its only $1.50! And the little sayings are too cute. I already have two of them, not to mention the two reusable Aveda bags I have and the three I randomly bought at Pick-N-Save the other day. I use one just like the one in the picture to carry around my laundry stuff, and I haul my school stuff around in another. How is it that I hardly ever remember to bring them when I go to the grocery store? Hey, old habits are hard to break, but at least I'm trying. 

The next green thing on my agenda? Getting my apartment complex to recycle. That's right- there's a dumpster for garbage and a dumpster for cardboard, but nothing for my cans and bottles. Seriously?

add something else to the mix

So I want this Costco job... duh. But I've also applied for an internship with Spreenkler which is a marketing agency of sorts downtown that specializes in social media. Hello, perfect for a 20-something, don't you think? Anyway, I wasn't too sure about it at first because it seemed like a nice place, but I had this Costco thing on my mind and another internship that since hasn't worked out. So I had my interviews today... totally lost track of time before I left, by the way, and half-ran/half-fell down the stairs in my heels as I hustled to get out the door. I made it in plenty of time actually and the interviews went well. Uh, except for the first words that came out of my mouth... 

"So you know about the Human Whiteboard Experiment." "Oh no, what's that?" "Uh, that's what we're interviewing for today..." "Oh! I didn't realize that was the name of it..."

My brain doesn't work at all sometimes, I swear. I hope everything else that came out of my mouth was more intelligent. I initally thought this internship was 40 hours paid (yay!) but it has turned out to be 20 hours paid and 20 unpaid hours of training. Not so great as far as my finances are concerned, but I don't think you can put a price on an experience like this. Its amazing, really it is, but I am at a point now where I have no idea what I want. Costco marketing would be better as far as $ is concerned and it wouldn't end at the conclusion of the summer like the Spreenkler thing would. However, doing cold-calling and selling memberships is only going to get me so far... the Spreenkler thing would be much better experience. Gah! I just hope something works out for me... because if I spend the summer serving hot dogs, I might die...

hoping for a miracle

So everyone knows I don't really like my job. I'm sorry, but serving up hot dogs just doesn't thrill me. I know I should be grateful that I have a job and that it pays me well, but its hard going to work day after day, putting on a hairnet, and fishing hot dogs out of hot greasy water. I applied for a different position, even though I'm not supposed to move out of my initial position during my first 90 days. I was told by the manager of that department, the marketing department, that if I kept it hush hush from the other employees, that I might have a chance regardless. So I put in my letter of interest and some samples of my work in the hopes that it would blow the manager away. In the beginning, she seemed really interested in me, but I haven't heard much from her since, and I'm starting to get anxious. It gets worse, however; I know another person that applied. He is a great guy and a really good employee. He has more seniority over me as well. So if I wasn't nervous enough before, I can assure you I'm really nervous now. The job posting is over in two days, and then they should start doing interviews for it. Hopefully I do really well on the interview. Hopefully I blow them away. Hopefully the fact that I'm an advertising/public relations major outweighs all the things that make my competition good choices. 

I want this job so much. I need this job for the sake of my sanity; I can only serve so many hot dogs before I lose my mind. I need this job for my future; the experience I could gain from this will hopefully help me find my "real" job when I graduate. I need this job for my relationship; Jameson has been great, but I can see that me hating a job that he loves is putting a strain between us. I need this job to pick me up from my rut; looking gross and feeling gross is no good for me, and you'd be surprised what a good outfit can do for my mood. It's sounds pretty shallow when I say that, I know, but its the truth. I don't care that I'd probably get a raise and I don't care that it's full-time. All of those things are great, but I need this for me. For my life. So I'm crossing my fingers and considering having a conversation with God so that I can get this job. Because if I don't get this position, I don't know... I'd rather not even think about that as possibility right now. Hopefully I can express this passion in my interview. Hopefully my work samples will show them what I know and can accomplish. Hopefully I get this job.