anything helps

On my way to school today, I saw three homeless men standing on the side of the street, clutching cardboard signs asking for anything drivers had to offer. At first I only saw one man, scruffy beard and dirty skin, wearing old camouflaged hunting attire and a matching cap. His sign read, "Hungry and needin' soap. Anything helps." When I saw his face and the sad, disheartened expression on it, I had to look away.

The light turned green and I drove around the corner, passing another young man leaning up against the traffic light pole, also holding a cardboard sign out for people to see. Soon I was stopped at another red light, only to see the third young man pacing in the median. In one hand was his sign: "Traveling and hungry, anything helps." In the other hand he held a leash tightly, a scrawny puppy pulling at the other end. He wore a worn-out leather jacket, and I could see two neck tattoos peeking out above his collar. Someone two cars in front of me reached out a hand with some money, and he hurried over to the vehicle to retrieve it, head bowed perhaps in shame or embarrassment. My heart sunk to see the emptiness in his eyes, and again I turned away because it was too hard to watch him stand there and plead for help.

I wanted to do something, really I did. A few dollars were inches away from me in my wallet, but I never reached for them. I was scared and felt ashamed for them. It broke my heart to see them all standing there hoping that someone would reach out their hand to help them, and I am ashamed of myself for not being a more kind and generous person to someone who needed help. If I were to ever find myself in a situation like theirs, I would want someone to help me.

(picture from here)

Other things to mention:

1. The Boyfriend and I have been dating for TWO years today!

2. Yoga is amazing. My body felt so good yesterday after I completed my yoga video.

3. I am seriously craving an iced chai and any excuse not to work on my homework.

planting seeds for my money tree

I woke up this morning already having a case of the "blahs"... and then I check my bank account. FML. Where's my money tree?

Let me explain how I got to this sad, sad point. I've never been much of a saver. I suck at budgeting myself and I "nickel and dime myslef to death", as my mother says. I'm a sucker for a bargain. However, after the credit card bills got bigger, I realized that my poor habits needed to stop. And I got better at managing my money. Well, a bit better.

Do you all remember my food court job at the wholesale store? I quit because I was being completely unappreciated and was diminished to tears by an evil manager. I quit without much in savings and without another job to go to. Not smart, I know that, but it needed to be done. So that's when I started pinching pennies. This happened in the beginning of June.

After a few weeks of searching, I found a job at a boutique and was all excited about finally working in fashion. Less than two weeks later, I got a phone call saying I was fired. I had never been fired before, so I took this pretty hard. My boss was nuts, to say the least, but regardless of her irrational behavior, I was without a job. Again. I started searching for change in the couch cushions.

I was luckily able to pick up a few hours at the salon I had previously worked at, but that wasn't without its own drama. The small checks I got from working a few hours here and there were barely enough to keep me going, and I thank God for my wonderful Boyfriend who has paid for practically everything since this chaos started.

Finally, I have found a job as an employee at an electronics retail store, and it is going well. The first check I got was small, as was to be expected. But I'm hoping my check on Friday blesses me with some dough to get me by. Also, I'm dying to hear back from two paid internships that I applied for. Cross your fingers for me!

Moral of my Story...

1. Have enough in savings to get you by when times get rough.

2. Learn how to budget yourself and kick those bad habits.

I'm definitely working on #2 right now, and I'd love your advice.

What do you do to save money?

(money tree found here)

love is in the air

Oh... Em... Gee!

I am seriously in love with these Christian Louboutin shoes, originally designed for Princess Diana. Vintage beauty at it's best, brought to my attention by the also lovely mondmelodie. Thanks darling! Someday I will own a pair of shoes as stunning as these...

BFFs and movie madness

1. I need advice...

...because I don't want to overstep any boundaries. What is the protocol for having a guy for a close friend? As I'm sure I've said before, I'm lacking in the BFF department these days, and with this new job, I was hoping to find a really awesome friend to hang out with. I did not, however, expect my potential BFF to be a dude.

I've already mentioned him to the Boyfriend, and he seems pretty cool about it, but something makes me think that this friendship could potentially make him uncomfortable. The bond I have with this new male friend is strictly platonic and I have no question that it will stay that way. However, I still feel like this new budding friendship will have to be different than bonds I've shared with past female BFFs.

Are there different rules or guidlines one must follow for having a guy BFF?

2. I plan to live at the movie theatre this fall...

...because of all the sweet flicks that are coming out. Most importantly is Heath Ledger's last film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. He died while making this film, so another one of my favorite actors, Johnny Depp, needed to finish it for him. Here's the trailer:

Super excited about that! Then, my other favorite actor, Morgan Freeman, will be in a film about Nelson Mandela, called Invictus. I love everything that Morgan Freedman does, so I doubt this will be any different. Other flicks I want to see:

Sherlock Holmes

Up In The Air

Precious

2012

An Education

Capitalism: A Love Story

Whip It

Lovely Bones

considering the possibility

I don't know what's gotten into me lately, but everywhere I go I see adorable little babies or beautifully plump pregnant women. And it's like they're trying to say to me, "Look at us? Aren't we just the bestest things you've ever seen?"

I've always said that I never want to have kids. If an oopsie baby happens, I'll keep it and love it, but I have never thought I'd ever plan to make a family. I could name a zillion reasons why I've strongly held this opinion: what if the baby wasn't born healthy? kids cost a ton and what if I'm too selfish for that? what if they died before me? kids misbehave a ton and what if I don't have the patience for that? what if they grow up and become terrible rebelious teens and die of a drug overdose? I could go on and on for days.

And maybe I need to be more specific. I've never wanted to raise a child, but I've always been extremely interested in being a surrogate. I think it would be a wonderful experience to be pregnant and then give someone the gift of a child. But it isn't something I've ever wanted for myself.

But something is different now. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and maturing, but I'm starting to wonder, "Would be it so bad to have a family?" Like I said before, I'm noticing adorable little children and their happy parents and glowing pregnant mommies-to-be. What if someday when I've got a house and a stable career and I've had my fun... what if I decide to become a mom?

Thank goodness for me, the Boyfriend could go wither way, although right now I think we're both leaning towards just spending our lives as just the two of us. Anyway, I thought that it was weird how I, someone so insistant that she'd never had kids, is now considering it as a possibility later in life. Hmm.

Have you ever felt this way, either about children or something else?

(picture from here)

L-O-V-E

I read a bunch of blog posts about love today and so I thought I needed to comment on love myself. And, this awesome picture that I borrowed from A Cheery Disposition really makes me want to get another tattoo!

Oh, and if you aren't reading A Cup of Jo, you need to be! She has this delightful thing going on right now where people post their secrets to a happy marriage. It's inspiring!

Anyway, back to my opinions about this thing called LOVE. When I fell in love with the Boyfriend, I knew it. I knew that there were never going to be other men for me. It didn't take us long at all to start wondering what our lives will be like together.

I would be lying if I said things were perfect. We argue about stuff and we we disagree about things, sometimes big things, but we work it out. Why? Because we are the best of friends and only care about the others happiness and well-being.

Do I check out other guys? Sure. But I know that no one else in the world could love me the way that the Boyfriend does. I mean, seriously, who else would be willing to move into my parent's basement with me to save money for a wedding and a house? Exactly. I've hit the jackpot here, and no other guy could be as awesome as he his.

Why is he awesome? We understand each other. We've shared similar life experiences and know what it's like. He keeps me stable and I keep him guessing! I try to convince him to eat more vegetables and he tries to keep me from buying too many shoes. We work together well. We mesh. It's like that adorable sloth Sid says in Ice Age 2 (yes, I love cartoons!): "She's tons of fun and you're no fun at all - She completes you." And that's how I feel about us. We complete each other.

Okay, now someone needs to tie me to a chair so I don't wander down to the tattoo shop. Eh, I think it might be too late for that! :)

drastic changes ahead?

So I'm thinking I need a hot new look to brighten my mood and lift my spirits. I've been thinking about this look for awhile (after seeing something similar on Gossip Girl, of course) and I'm wondering if I should take the dive and just go for it!

I currently hair hair almost that length (I've been growing it our for quite some time... it had been dangerously short!) and I have blunt cut bangs similar to this, although they are much softer looking. The big difference is the color: I currently have dark blonde with lighter highlights. I had been practically black for awhile so this had been a change for the lighter already.

My current look appeals to me for a few reasons: it's natural looking, and my natural hair color is a dark blonde so I can go a very long time between colorings. And when you're poor like me and no longer get the perks of working at a salon, not having to color often is very nice.

However, I feel the need to be inspired and do something drastic. And I always thought I couldn't do bleach blonde because I'm really pale, but this model looks pretty pale but can pull off this punk look. But one question: is this look too "teen" for a 21 year old? I'm looking for internships and I'm afraid that this will make me look immature. On the other hand, will it make me look edgy and ambitious? Hmmm...

I think this decision will have to wait for another day! Your thoughts are definitely welcome. :)

(photo from the Forever 21 website somewhere...)